Choose Bad Ex Or Sexless Partner?

Before you pursue your options, though, I recommend doing some internal work, especially around healing the wound that caused your fear of being rejected. Did you grow up with any narratives around what your future was going to look like? It is not uncommon for parents to directly or indirectly project what their kids’ adult lives “should” look like on them. I wonder how your sexual identity fits into that view of an ideal life. Some families have every detail planned out for their kids — from what college a child will attend to the tiny bride-and-groom topper on the future buttercream wedding cake. Other children grow up with the people around them telling them all the reasons why they will always be alone and no one will want them. Rarely do parents continuously say, “I just want you to be curious, happy, and passionate about something — anything. And if you decide to find a partner, they can identify however they choose and I hope they are passionate and curious also.” But if they did, maybe we wouldn’t have to worry as much about rejection or being a disappointment.

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